My Wife Doesn’t Want to Have Sex, What Can I Do?

Are you one of the many men asking “why doesn’t my wife want sex?” This is a problem that is too common for too many married men. There are many possible problems but no one simple answer. It might require some investigation on your part but you should take the time to investigate. If it becomes a problem for too long, it is one that can ruin your marriage.

You are likely not going to like this, but all the steps involve talking to her. There is no other way around it.

1. We need to rule out some of the obvious causes. Have you recently had a child together? I have heard of men who think its unusual that they haven’t had sex a month after the baby is born. This is not unusual, in fact, this is perfectly normal.

Perhaps the children are a factor even if they are not newborn. Men are willing to take the chance of a child walking in, women are not. Can you install a lock on your bedroom door?

2. Try to gently let her be aware of a problem. Many men will only hint at a problem of sexual intimacy, you need to stop hinting and confront the issue. First, just mention it. Say something like, “did you realize it has been almost 3 weeks?” Do not make it too specific such as ” Did you know we have only done it 3 times in the last 127 days?” She certainly does not want statistics thrown at her. By bringing it to her conscious level of awareness, you are far more likely to reach a resolution. However you bring it up, do not make it look like you are taking notes.

3. After you have addressed the issue, now you can back off a bit. Sometimes a simple conversation, even if it is not about sex, can lead to sex. Once you have made her aware that you are dissatisfied in that area, just back off. Begin a conversation about nothing in particular. Simply taking the time to talk can make her feel more wanted, appreciated, and secure.

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